Geezer Sex

Frequently throughout the year, I have an early morning breakfast at a McDonald's. Truly the only thing I like on their menu is breakfast, but that's beside the point.

Usually the place is filled with single older men.  (I don't know if they are widower's, single, or just there with other buddies to kill 3 hours.)  Usually too, when I am sitting around them, they are shooting the breeze about a) their glory days, or b) the weather, or c) the sorry state of Osama in DC.  I have never heard them talk about sex....

As I sat down today though, it was a strange sight taking up this large corner booth.  There were 4 older couples (all age 80 to 90) all just jawing; in what seemed to be all at the same time.  It is very rare to see wives there at the same time.  It does happen, but only in 20% of occurrences. 

I take my first bite, and hear "Lew, how are you going to spend your extra $12 per month that we just got from social security?"  Lew laughs and says "yep, those idiots in Washington tell us we have no inflation, and the Commies on CNN parrot the line; and yet, here in the real world, we haven't had inflation like this since that peanut farmer was president back in the '70's."  They banter back and forth over this topic for a few minutes.  Note to reader: I agree.  Inflation has not been this high in 35 years, yet no one will admit it...

Next I hear from a man, "Maple (maybe it was Mable), let's go, we need to go pick up Chloe."  One of the others says "why", and "Maple" says: "We have to take her to school today.  Our grand-daughter is an idiot, and you'd think at age 30 she would have her life figured out ~ but she don't, and her daughter is the innocent one here.  We're just trying to help." 

1st note to self: A great-grand parent helping out with parental responsibilities for their great-grand children, at age 85.  Wow.  I'd not like to be in those shoes if they have to do that all the time.  2nd note to self: Don't ever call any of my grandchildren idiots in public; even if they are.  That was rude.

But the funniest part of the eavesdropping is about to unfold.  This made me chuckle/laugh, and I'm glad they didn't see me do it.

I'm almost finished with my 2nd egg McMuffin when one of the ladies says to the remaining group "Did you read in AARP about the resurgence of that 81 year old woman's sex life?"  My ears perk up, and I say 'huh', at the same time a few of the other men say 'huh' too at the same time. 

The older lady proceeds to tell the story in the magazine about how this 81 year old woman got remarried, and that her new husband was 'frisky, adventurous, and looking for her all the time like he was 18 again.'  One the other ladies just laughed and said "well, glad that's not my husband!" 

At that point, one of the other men spoke up, and said "that little blue pill has been the best thing that happened to me in the last 20 years, ain't that right honey?"  To which 'honey' sheepishly smiled, and said "yeah", and the whole table (including myself) started to laugh; quite heartily I might add.  Then 'honey' looked up at him with that same smile as if to say "let's get out of here big fella"...

So, as if I needed any proof; geezers still do have sex.

No, he is a role model from Hell; but I'm sure Hef is still 'frisky', and he's in his mid 80's.

Plus, the Bible very clearly tells us the story of Sarah and Abraham when they are 100 having a baby.

And, I knew it was still quite important to my parents when the first thing my Dad (at age 79) asked the Dr. after he had just had a stroke was "how soon can we have sex again?" . . .

In closing; for all the ladies reading this blog, please note, it was a woman who started the conversation about sex.  Not the man.  And never once in all of my eavesdropping with other groups of men have I ever heard, not one time, a single word from any of them about sex.  But add older women to the mix and see what happens.  And women are the ones that say men are the ones that just want to talk about sex..., no so.

This made me hungry ~ I need to go eat. :-)

Best Books

Even though I am a fast reader, I only had time to read 20 books last year, which was the same number as the previous year.  This is nothing compared to Jackie, my oldest daughter, which seems to knock out 20 in a month.  I love to read and just need to make more time for it.

Here is my favorite 5 from last year:

Columbus: The Four Voyages, by Laurence Bergreen
This book was fascinating.  It is the most historically accurate, and exhaustively detailed re-telling of Columbus that I have ever come across.  It is a must read.  You will not be sorry.

Impact, by Douglas Preston
A thrilling book with lots of plot twists.  It is thought provoking, well paced, and a fun read.

The Last Man, by Vince Flynn
I love the Mitch Rapp character, and have read every one of Vince's books with him in it.  Sadly, Vince Flynn lost his battle to cancer this year at a very young age; and Mitch Rapp is gone now too.

Arguing With Idiots, by Glenn Beck
This book is hysterical, profound, and sad because it is so full of truth.  Well researched and documented to void all debate.  An exceptionally great book.

Gloria Swanson, by Stephen Michael Shearer
This book is the story of one of the first true movie stars, from the age of silent pictures.  Stephen does an incredible job of researching Gloria, and recreating her life in a way that makes you think you know her.  Plus, Stephen is an old friend from a previous life of mine long since passed; and is the very first author that I know personally, and of which I now have an autographed copy of.  Gloria Swanson is still on the featured shelves for purchase at Barnes & Noble.

So, what were some of your favorite reads last year?