Editor's note: please use the correct word think when repeating this cliché, as it is not a 'thing coming your way', it is a think coming your way. :-)
God is the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the Name above all names, and the great I AM. I love the I AM poster. But it is lacking one title that could have been slipped in at the very end; I AM the ultimate comedian. We are made in His image, and this includes His humor, laughing, and sarcasm.
Have you ever listened to Mark Lowry? If not, rent his DVD. He is the funniest Christian comedian that God ever made. He is pee in your pants funny. Your sides will ache from laughter.
Need more proof?
Other than Justin Timberlake; have you ever seen a white man able to dance like Michael Jackson?
Other than M&M; have you ever heard a white man that can rap as great as Usher?
Other than Bruce Willis; have you ever seen a bald white man that looks as good bald as any black guy does?
Other than Emeril Lagasse; have you ever seen a white man that can cook southern food to the pinnacle of perfection?
Those are plenty of humorous examples with how God decided to 'mess up the white man'.
But for me, I need look no further than my own bathroom for proof of His humor.
Over the past few years, I have been in many dozens of customer bathrooms providing quotes for remodeling. The thing that consistently amazes me is the boat load of items on the woman's side, compared to the sparse items on the man's side.
By comparison to my own bathroom, I have seen other ladies side bathrooms with 10, 12, 15x the amount of supplies and accessories that my wife uses! It is astonishing. I have seen bathrooms so full of items that I thought they robbed the Dillard's and Ulta counters the night before. Dozens and dozens of bottles of perfume, hair things by the dozens, and even more 100's of things for the face.
How else could this not be God? I can hear Him now, "Ok Adam, you guys will get by with some soap and dull sheers for the rest of eternity. But Eve, ha ha, sorry honey, but your lady descendants are going to need 3 piece sets of luggage to transport toiletries in a few 1,000's of years."
For a man's shower, what is needed is a bar of soap, shaving cream, and a razor.
But, for a woman's shower, what is needed is 4 shelves of gear, each with it's own purpose, with a total of 18 items at their disposal for that day's shower needs.
For a man to finish getting ready of a morning, what is needed is a Q-tip for each ear, deodorant, and cologne.
But, for a woman to finish getting ready of a morning, what is needed is 4 fully stocked drawers of necessities, totaling well into multiple 100's of selections, that overflow into 2 fully stocked back up baskets that are hauled out for use each morning too.
It takes a man 8-10 minutes from start to finish.
My wife moves at light speed, and still takes 40 minutes from start to finish. When she is really getting dolled up though, it is over an hour. She is incredibly gorgeous to me without 'help', but wow, after 40-60 minutes of prep time, an amazing transformation has just occurred!
I still crack up about it though. If God had wanted to, he could have made man the one that needed 40-60 minutes to be transformed. But, THANK GOD He didn't! I'd not have the patience for it!
Thank you ladies for bearing this burden. You can complain privately to God when you see Him one day and tell Him that you don't think His joke was very funny . . . :-)
And don't even get me started about female menopause vs. male andropause. We'll save that for another blogging chapter sometime down the road; as well as the extra night time trips to the bathroom and wild hairs. Yeah, that should make for some pretty comical stuff.
Until then, I might see if a 3rd Q-tip is needed in the morning . . .
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