Snow?

Arguably, Oklahoma has the most unstable and unpredictable weather in the country.  That might be why the National Weather Center is in Norman.  It also seems that every weather person employed in Oklahoma Meteorology holds a Doctorate. 

And, the lucky ones with good genes that are attractive enough for TV will earn $250k a year (not for their Doctorate), but because they have good hair and white teeth, and want to be frequently used when trying to frighten the Beelzebub out of us during severe storm season.

Storm season?  That is all 365 days a year, okay, maybe 358.  We have 7 perfect days a year, but that is max.  Never know when it might be 96 in November with 75% humidity and the chance of an isolated twister. 

I still remember the 92 degree day we had in February not too many years ago.  Calling our temps normal, (or used for 30 year averages), is a bastardization of math.  This past week, we have been 20 to 30 degrees below the normal 'average' temp for 8 days in a row.  We have been colder now that we normally are in the heart of January!

Sometimes, we have no storm season, when it might be 110-115 for 21 days in a row in July, and the only thing resembling a cloud in the sky is the water vapor from the Kimberly-Clark plant in Jenks.

Storm season?  The scariest number is 30% chance of rain.  Around here, that means "Take Cover!", as we here in TV land don't have a clue what it might do.  With 30% chance of rain, we have had monsoons, tornado's, flash floods, and hail the size of soccer balls. 

Storm season?  In the past, if a winter storm starts being hyped 8 days in advance, I know enough to not be too worried, because it is not going to materialize like they think.  Heck, I've gone to bed at 10p the night before with a 100% chance of rain the next day, only to be greeted with clear skies, and with the closest rain being north of Caney, KS and never heading south all day.  True story, you can't make this stuff up (apologies to Joe McGee for the stolen line).

As I was preparing the gourmet roast beef meal planned for Sunday, I detected a sour odor from the meat, and decided to pitch it instead of cooking it.  So . . . during a light snow, I ventured up to Country Mart, which was an 8 minute commute.  In that time, I took evasive driving maneuvers twice on the road, and twice more in the Country Mart parking lot! 

Why does a storm, or the threat of a storm bring out the worst idiot driver's imaginable?

This past 'winter storm' that hit on Sunday was no exception.  The forecast was an 80% chance for 1" to 3" of snow.  Very manageable.  Nothing serious, and the weather people said it was not even going to stick on the roads.  So, if it was not going to stick on the roads, (which it didn't), why did I see 3 snow plows?  One was an individual, and 2 were the giant City of Tulsa snow plows wasting tax money by paying the driver's double time.

 

 

While in Country Mart, people were emptying the shelves preparing for Armageddon.  Arms were raking entire shelves of canned goods into baskets and carts.  One female wildebeest cut me off while I was trying to navigate to the meat section.  Another beached whale looked like she was preparing to knife me if I grabbed the chuck roast that she had her eye on.  She was obviously afraid it might have been her last meal here on earth. 

 

There was nothing worthy of purchase remaining in the meat section, so I left for Wal-Mart.

 

Another 5 minutes down Hwy. 51, with untold number of cars/trucks zooming past me at no less than 72 mph in a 55 mph zone, I cautiously entered the parking lot of Hades.  Land of the damned.  Enter at your own risk.  And risky it was.  To avoid the live game of bumper cars that was going on all around me; I parked at the very end of the last row, and hiked the 2 minutes to the front door.  In the process, I burned 11 calories . . .

 

And what was lying in wait for me inside?  This:

 

 

One roast.  A bad one too.  The meat section was empty, virtually cleaned out.  I asked a stocker, he didn't even have anymore roasts in back, as he said he couldn't keep the sections stocked fast enough.

 

So, I decided to buy chicken wings.  But, zero, zip, nada.

 

The peeps in Wal-Mart were in a more heightened frenzy of 'horde mode' than the ones at Country Mart!  I kept saying to myself, it's barely snowing!

 

As my daughter would say; wowzers!

 

I was done, not going anywhere else.  I went back home and made some chicken breasts that we had thawed, and spent the rest of the day reading a book.

 

And you ask "How much snow did you get?"  Well, this is what 1" to 3" of snow looks like.  We got a 'dusting':

 

 

And to think about those poor people in Buffalo that got 6 FEET of snow from their storm yesterday.  6 FEET!  In one storm! 

 

Now that is a true wowzers!